My first year after returning back to India

In the last few days, I received messages by email, Facebook and even LinkedIn — some messages from complete strangers — asking for a follow-on to my blog post NRIs considering moving back to India — Ask yourself if the move is “love”, “live-in” or “arranged”?

And then there is an occasional visit from an “NRI” friend or acquaintance. Some who genuinely want to know about my well being regardless of the fact that I moved back to India recently. Others who want to meet just to see how I am doing after, what they claim to be a courageous step (as if I just survived cancer).

Well — until now, I haven’t really consciously evaluated my decision of moving back. Perhaps, that’s a good sign. I accept that it has not been a smooth ride — but then I never anticipated it to be smooth.

In the last one year, I have gotten into a fist-fight; been in a minor, but expensive, car accident; remained strong while facing devious police officers; gotten the runaround by government bureaucrats; dealt with eccentric landlords; almost got swindled by a financial advisor of a reputed bank; drained a lot of energy and time to fix basic service from banks, cellphone companies and Internet service providers. Currently, I am practicing remaining calm when everyone — right from my Chartered Accountant to my Payment Gateway provider, does not deliver on their commitments. Ironically, my chartered accountant happens to be my childhood buddy — so yes, in India, we don’t discriminate while making empty promises.

But my spirits are still high and I am undeterred by these challenges.

Because, the most interesting aspect is — I can come up with an equally long list, if not longer, of the pleasant experiences I have had since I moved to India.

Though there is one caveat — I often wonder if the habits that we are developing as a nation are going to be sustainable. I often wonder if I will be equally excited about living in India 10 years from now. Perhaps, this is the reason I have not voluntarily given up my US residency as yet. After all, a good childhood friend once told me “मुफ्त में ज़हर भी मिले, तो रख लेना — पता नहीं कब काम आ जाये” (Translated in English — “If you get something for free, even poison — keep it! You don’t know when it will be of use.”) Well, time will tell but I do not intend to use this poison!

Coming to learnings based on my last year in India:

• Focus on eliminating stress inducing factors: In my case, most of my unpleasant experiences can be attributed to traffic and road rage. Renting an office space just 100 meters from my home is perhaps the best decision I made — because it limits my daily commute to a 3-minute walk and minimizes the likelihood of stress inducing factors.
• Rehabilitate rather than punish: I have learnt that rehabilitation works better than punishment — or at times is the only option. For example — what do you do when an Internet service provider does not offer good service? Well, you don’t try to punish them by going to another service provider — because others are likely to be no different. You should rather rehabilitate your existing provider by escalating the issue higher up, all the way until it is resolved. Believe me when I tell you that I have had to do this not just for Internet service — but potentially every kind of service in the last 1 year.
• Right combination of patience, persistence and tolerance can do wonders: In India, I have witnessed a lot of impatience among people when in lines or in traffic or just about anywhere else. But surprisingly these same people tend to be very tolerant of delays caused by incompetence or lack of discipline. In the western culture, people generally tend to be patient (for example, they don’t mind waiting in line) — but do not tolerate any kind of delays due to incompetence or violation of rules. Well, in the last year, I have learnt that it is very important to be persistent while being patient with a dash of tolerance. Lose any of these traits and you can expect a lot of grief without a solution.
• Often, setting the record straight is not worthwhile. Learn to cut your losses and move-on: In many situations over the last year, I felt wronged (eg. incorrectly billed for service by large companies, had to pay for fixing my car damaged due to someone else’s fault even when I had photographic evidence that would stand in court, etc). Initially, I tried to right a lot of wrongs. Now I realize, at times, you just need to move-on to cut your loss. Particularly because there is a huge opportunity cost associated with the time that would go in righting the wrong.

Would love to hear thoughts from readers of this post.

I will end by seeking excuse for this hastily written post, by quoting Mark Twain — “If I had more time, I would write a shorter letter” — or a structured post in this case.

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